6 Ways To Help Unemployed Friends And Family

So you’ve got a friend or family member who’s unemployed and looking for a job. Maybe your friend hasn’t quit their job yet and has turned to you for help.

1. Be Compassionate

Don’t assume your friends’ career problems are entirely their fault, either. Sometimes, the workplace dynamic can change as fast as a few days or weeks and bad bosses or new policy can be the cause for workplace woes. Take the time to listen to their problems and you’ll find that their are external factors affecting their job satisfaction. Remember, job loss typically involves a grieving process. Give your friend the emotional space (or closeness) they need to get through the initial shock, anger, confusion and other emotions they feel.

2. Ask Questions

Ask your friend to be specific about their job search. Ask the five W’s: Who, What, When, Where, Why? Who do they want to work for? What do they want to do (think specific job titles)? When can they start working (this is a good question if they are still employed, are a student, or have some other personal obligations such as family)? Where do they want to work geographically (in the same city, out of the country, near their kids’ school, etc)? Why do they feel they are qualified for the job in question. Knowing specific answers do these questions can help you keep your eyes and ears open if opportunities come up – you might even pose some basic questions about their career path your friend had never initially imagined.

3. Recommend Resources And Forget The Internet

Refrain from talking about internet job boards. Just about everybody who has ever had a friend search for a job these days automatically refers to the internet. “Have you tried Monster or Craigslist?” Odds are, that’s the first place your friend has looked. Remember, less than 7 percent of job founds today are found on the internet, so help your friend focus on real life networking.

Ask your friend if they have found good resources for their job search or career change. Do you know of a good career counselor or some great books? Share your resources. I warn against simply making blind recommendations, however. Be sure your friend can actually use the resource in question. If you’ve got a personal experience, share your recommendation and relate personally to their experience.

4. Point Them Towards Information Resources Within Your Network

Set your friend up with others who can provide information. You don’t have to ask your network to “give” your friend a job. You can, however, point your friend towards mutual friends or colleagues who can be sources of information. Just be sure to let your “source” know of your intentions ahead of time. If your source does business a certain way, be sure to find out the appropriate channels to follow and pass that information on to your friend. It doesn’t hurt to remind your friend of basic professional etiquette, such as following up and writing thank you notes. Any tips you can offer to make the networking experience as professional as possible will help keep your friend’s reputation in a positive light.

5. Be Accepting

Don’t be too hard on your friend if they are not having much success. Unemployment automatically equates to rejection, as job seekers feel they are constantly being judged. Remind your friend of their strengths and why you believe in them. Your kind words and motivators might seem small, but they go a long way and can sometimes be enough to keep your friend going as they make their way through a tough life transition.

6. Offer Fun Distractions 

Help your friend have fun once in a while. If it means dragging them out of the house to get some sunshine or getting them back into an old past time, help your friend remember that there are other things in life to enjoy and that life does move on.

The job search process is hardly a simple process and neither is being a good friend during a such time. Consequently, stay objective about the process, be personal about being a friend, and before you know it, your friend or loved one will find their next step.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Leslie, Inc. offers solutions for finding happiness through one-on-one coaching, mindful leadership retreats, and digital products. If you’re ready to GET HAPPY, check out Leslie’s guide packs. For more tips on achieving your state of happiness, sign up for Leslie, Inc’s weekly newsletter.

#careeradvancement #outplacement #career #executivecoaching #jobsearch #executivemanagement #relationshipmanagement

When Expectations Get You Down

Planning your career isn’t easy. Walking into an interview or networking meeting nervous about the outcome brings all sorts of negative emotions. Facing rejection or unexpected circumstances that take you two steps backward can also get you down.

What is there to be said about our expectations and why do we let them get us down so much? When we create expectations – either negative or positive, we often set ourselves up for disappointment. Expectations, simply defined, implies a strong belief that something is going to happen. By nature, we want security and we want to know that everything will be alright in our future – we want to believe that everything will be OK and if not, we expect that others will let us down or that we’ll never live the life we really want.

When our expectations are negative, there is a high possibility of narrowing our perspective, keeping us from seeing the world from an objective, present perspective. Narrowing our perspective can keep us from taking advantage of the opportunities and conquering the challenges that we face in the present moment. If our expectations are positive, we tend to build them up into fantasies and then turn them around on ourselves, criticizing our lack of performance or weaknesses if we don’t manage to achieve our expectations.

I know what you’re probably thinking by now, “Leslie, isn’t your job to help people to achieve their goals?” You betcha. The difference between working towards goals and setting expectations is that goals are a vision for the future – a way of being, feeling, and creating. Expecting specific results and performance typically narrows individual perspective in the sense that we “know what we’re looking for” but can’t seem to find it. The vast majority of my clients achieve their goals in ways they had never originally expected or imagined. If they expected to achieve their goals in one particular way, they’d never get there. Which is why they hired me in the first place – their old way of getting what they want wasn’t working for them.

When you see yourself getting disappointed, just remember this: abandon your expectations of how it will all turn out and focus your energies on just responding each circumstance with your goal in mind. Give yourself the freedom to see opportunities and respond in ways that are genuine to you and your values. It’s impossible to know for sure how the future will work out in our favor. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Simply said, there will be circumstances that you can expect to happen and others that you cannot. It’s super tough to let go of our expectations, but when we do we feel lighter and less constricted to live, act, and think.

Have you ever let expectations get you down? What was the result? How were you able to let go of your expectations?

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Leslie, Inc. offers solutions for finding happiness through one-on-one coaching, mindful leadership retreats, and digital products. If you’re ready to GET HAPPY, check out Leslie’s guide packs. For more tips on achieving your state of happiness, sign up for Leslie, Inc’s weekly newsletter.

#careeradvancement #outplacement #career #executivecoaching #personaldevelopment #jobsearch #executivemanagement

Mother Of Two Autistic Children: How Moms Add Value To The Workplace

Mom In The Workplace Can Be A Very Valuable Asset

I am a young mother to two small boys, four and two, with Autism Spectrum Disorder. The highs and lows make each day a challenge. Having been a stay at home mother for over four years, I have recently began working part time since my boys began attending a special needs school.

Being out of the workforce for a few years makes returning to work a difficult challenge. Employers undoubtedly see the gap in my resume and think, “What could she possibly have to offer over someone else without children?” In fact, plenty.

Employers should be happy to know that having a mom on their team is one of the best decisions they could ever make. After a woman becomes a mother, her life experience and their corresponding skills explodes by 5000%.

Mothers are masters at multi-tasking. We can get you coffee, answer and transfer your calls and take messages without skipping a beat. Oh, and you need those files finished at the end of the day? No sweat. If I can cook dinner, feed the baby, and manage to eat myself, anything else is a cakewalk.

Our time management and organizational skills are our greatest assets. We are creatures of scheduling. Our lives are based upon a schedule with children. So, we’ll make sure you’re in your next meeting on time or that our projects are finished on schedule. We know what it’s like to have someone counting on us.

Need someone who can handle tough clients? Nothing says patience like a mom shopping with a screaming toddler who can manage to get what she came for, pay, and get to the car without crying herself. To the people who stare at mothers with a crying child: everything is under control. You can continue shopping without worrying about my parenting skills. No matter what anybody says, no one has more patience and self-control than a mom. That screaming, unhappy, customer who demands satisfaction is nothing, absolutely nothing compared to a child throwing a tantrum. Easy peasy. We refuse to sweat the small stuff.

How can employers meet us half way? Having an understanding, family-friendly employer makes all the difference. I promise it will make us work harder knowing that we are valued by our employer. Flexibility is key. That is all we need.

Having extra two to three personal days off in addition to sick and vacation time would be fabulous. Let’s face it, kids get sick… a lot. There will be days that I will need to take my child to the doctor. Having a sick child is stressful enough without having to worry about my boss getting bent out of shape because I need to stay home and care for my child. Having the option to work from home on days that I cannot be present in the office is a fantastic solution. If that is not possible, we can work later on other days or come in earlier to make up for lost time.

Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs there is. Being a working mom is certainly no walk in the park. Being a parent in general makes for big challenges and tough decisions. So go ahead and give a mom a chance on your team. If you like all of your work done efficiently, organized, and done with the patience of a saint, you will not be disappointed! Just be willing to wiggle with us as we manage our families.

Editor’s Note: You can find Alisha’s children featured on the cover and inside Florida Crossroads August Issue.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Leslie, Inc. offers solutions for finding happiness through one-on-one coaching, mindful leadership retreats, and digital products. If you’re ready to GET HAPPY, check out Leslie’s guide packs. For more tips on achieving your state of happiness, sign up for Leslie, Inc’s weekly newsletter.

#career #workingwomen