Sofie Lindberg, host and producer of the Classy, Sassy, and a Bit Badassy: The Empowerment Podcast invited me to discuss the role that emotional intelligence plays in the career, professional development, and finances.


In this episode, I teach Sofie and her listeners methods on how to reframe negative experiences and emotions into thoughts that serve you.


We discuss the barriers that keep us from financial happiness. I help listeners to own their own calendars and feel like the person they want to be in their lives with financial freedom. I ask you to explore your version of financial happiness.


What are your emotions trying to tell you? Your emotions are the language of your soul. It's trying to get your attention to change your habits and ultimately your life.


You can create and develop the career of your choice. You can develop your personal brand and your self-concept in the world. Free yourself from the emotional burdens to cultivate and develop your own self-worth - how you feel about yourself in the market - and aligns yourself to the market that values what you have. I ask these questions to help you build your own sense of consciousness, your creativity, confidence, and connectivity.


A audio clip of the interview:




Listen now to the full episode


#emotionalintelligence #careerdevelopment #itpaystobeyou #themoneyformula #selfworth




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I was invited to share two of my book titles [Engineering Your Mood and The Money Formula] as on Babyboomer.org by one of the founders. The experience raised an interesting question on the subject of Baby Boomers and emotional intelligence.


I think back to my client base. I don't really work with baby boomers. Most of my clients were born in the 70s and 80s, so Gen X and Gen Y. Those adults that I work with that would be considered baby boomers are those who were born at the tail end of the baby boom (1961-1963).


My late Baby Boomer clients, when they first came to see me, had no emotional intelligence AT ALL. They struggled to articulate their feelings and mostly struggled with financial fears. They realized that hard work and waiting for the "pay off" wasn't the secret to financial success and security. Rather, they had to learn how to go into their own feelings to resolve their financial and professional crises.


The question remains: Are Baby Boomers emotionally intelligent?


From my professional experience and from a very small sampling of those clients who are Baby Boomers, I would respond with a resounding no. Young Baby Boomers tell stories of their parents shoving their feelings down into themselves until the feelings manifested as rage, disease, or addiction. Not wanting to solve their problems like their parents, my young Baby Boomer clients reached out to me to deal with their feelings. They didn't want to neglect their feelings. Rather, they wanted to resolve their traumas and insecurities in order to be better parents, providers, and people.


So, with an amended response, I say... Baby Boomers may not be emotionally intelligent, but many are trying to be.


It is arguable that Baby Boomers simply want to achieve a standard of living that their parents never had during the world wars. They wanted to, in the classic expression American kids have heard from their Greatest Generation parents, "put a roof over your head and food in your belly." When these things were not guaranteed to war time parents, anything else is a luxury.


We see with the digital age that society is moving on from mere survival that was the hallmark of the industrial age. Now that we are in a society of free or cheap access to education and information, young people want to move from an almost guaranteed standard of living to a quality of life. Emotional intelligence, young people are showing, is a part of intelligently creating a quality of life.


What do you think? Are baby boomers emotionally intelligent? Would you say that baby boomers possess emotional intelligence? Let me know in the comments.


#babyboomers #emotionalintelligence #aging

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Updated: Sep 8

Listen to this essay on audio





My 18 Year Journey with Facebook Comes to an End

University of North Florida original library in Jacksonville Florida
University of North Florida, "Building 12, Library" (2000). Images of Campus Buildings and Sites. 165. https://digitalcommons.unf.edu/buildings/165

It was 2004. I was sitting at a computer in the old University of North Florida library under the fluorescent lights. I was cruising my MySpace profile when a fellow student looked over my shoulder and said, “Hey, you should check out this new website called Facebook.”


I logged in with my .edu e-mail address and the rest was history.


Eighteen years later, I told my husband, Franck, during one of our many neighborhood dog walks that I was “over” Facebook and Instagram and what it had done to divide the United States and commercialize our private conversations into targeted ads.


Last week, I was scrolling Instagram and suddenly, I felt a strange sensation that I can only describe as a drain occurring in my body. Whatever energy that I had to open up the app and looked at it just disappeared. I literally didn’t “feel” the need to look at it anymore. So, I dis-activated my profile and uninstalled the app.


Fast forward to this week. I accidentally logged into my original Facebook account. I logged back out, went to my current account, and conducted my usual affairs. My final post mentioned my new forum where I could discuss my books, web series, online course and interviews with interested friends and readers.


Facebook Cancelled Me

The next day, I opened the Facebook app on my phone and received a notification that my account had been disabled for a “violation of Facebook terms and agreements”. The violation was having two accounts in my name. The app instructed me to follow the directions to restore my account. In fact, there was nothing at all that allowed me to do that. I tried talking to someone via the chat bot, but the person said to click on a phantom blue button that didn’t exist. It said to put in my phone number to restore my account, but no recovery text message came.

Facebook Account Disabled
Facebook Permanently Disabled My Account without Recovery Options


After 30 minutes of frustration, I realized, “This is it. The end of the road.“


My 18 year journey with Facebook is over. How it ended was perfect. There is no way for me to create a new account. There is no way to restore it because of how poorly Facebook is designed to serve people when they have real problems.


How Facebook IS Incompatible with The World I Want To Create


Facebook isn’t aligned with my value system. Facebook isn’t aligned with the reality I want to create.


The greater truth is…


The world conformed itself to my word.


The world gave me what I asked for.


All in a way that I couldn’t even orchestrate.


Knowing myself, I don’t think that I would have just quit Facebook cold turkey without taking some time to do so. I have lots of friends all over the world that I like to stay in contact. But, I know these people love me no matter what. So, in the greater scheme of things, having a Facebook to maintain a connection with my friends and family really isn’t essential.


There are many other ways of connecting with people. How Facebook is commonly used is incompatible with my values and business strategy.

  • I just can’t see myself spending hours on the computer coming up with “content” to get engagement.

  • I can’t rage bait people because rage isn’t a part of my emotional vocabulary and I have no interest in upsetting people for clicks, likes, shares, and comments.

  • I’m not here to start debates, argue, share their opinion on things that have little to no impact on their real lives.

  • I won’t use advertising to create click funnels that charge too much for online courses that give little to no value.

  • I won’t advertise - period. In their scheme, if I don’t pay, I don’t play.


The facts were:

  • Facebook didn’t add anything to my bottom line. I didn’t sell books or materials through Facebook.

  • I never got coaching clients out of Facebook. I got coaching clients through Malakye.com and through my word-of-mouth network.

  • I had more appropriate engagement on Malakye.com and LinkedIn Because those are the places where people are actively seeking to improve their wealth and happiness. Facebook is a distraction machine.

  • One client/friend told me, “You’re anti-social media. You’re all about personal connections.” It was clear that my brand is about real world connections rather than social media engagement.


You Can Be Successful without Facebook


I always tell people who are trying to build a brand - you can be successful offline without having to be successful online.


The internet is a tool to showcase what you do, who you are, and how you help. It’s an interface for people from all corners of the globe to find you and connect with you. But the end goal is a real, personal connection - because, at the end of the day, that’s where business happens: in the real world.


I help you to make a real world connection in your career and business in my job search and career change workbook: It Pays To Be You.

I show you that you don’t even need to use social media to create a professional experience that is right for you.


I teach you skills that will help you gain the consciousness, creativity, confidence, and connectivity necessary to engage with people in real world situations that increase your sense of personal satisfaction and improve your own bottom line.


Of course, if Facebook and Instagram are giving you what you want out of life, then keep using the services. This isn’t a bash at Facebook or Instagram at all. Many people find these services as a tool to grow their career, business, and personal connections.


Facebook simply became incompatible with the life I want to live. I want to see the real world in real time, not through a camera or a screen. I already look at the computer enough in between law school, my business meetings with people around the world, and writing my books and blogs. I’m all “screened out”.


Your Turn: Tell Me Your Experience with Facebook


Do you still use Facebook?


Do you use it to grow your business or expand your brand?


What about Facebook do you find useful?


What about Facebook do you find toxic, unsafe, or unhealthy?


Let me know in the comments - join me in the forum to discuss alternative ways to grow a brand online without using Facebook.

Do you still use Facebook?

  • Yes.

  • No.


UPDATE:


Today, I discovered that they reinstated my Facebook account. Too little too late. Thanks for all the memories, Facebook. It was fun while it lasted.


#facebook #online #socialmedia #instagram #tiktok










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