Millions of couples try everything to avoid divorce everyday. “Fighting to stay married” is an oxymoron. After a decade of coaching executives and their spouses, I have learned the key methods that keep couples together and happy.
Why Navigating The Highs & Lows Of Marriage Is A Challenge
To start, I coach relationships with all sorts of dynamics: dating/engaged, LGBTQ marriages and partnerships, swingers, polyamourous, divorced couples, separated, straight couples, multi-racial and multi-ethnic. As a result, I’ve learned that all relationship dynamics face the same emotional issues: Jealousy, trust issues, victim-hood, blame, shaming, etc. Which then lead to common sins: affairs, stealing, betrayal, hiding financial problems, arguing about money, and more.
I can immediately tell a doomed relationship. The two signs of a doomed marriage is this: failure to communicate and failure to make lasting personal change. Notice I didn’t say, “Failure to get my partner to do what I want.”
Successful couples weather painful life experiences with excellent communication skills and a commitment to self-improvement. Here’s how:
Key Steps I Take To Help Couples Avoid Divorce
First: Explore Past Life Connections
The first thing I do to understand relationship dynamics is to read my clients’ past lives. One of the most exciting and intriguing parts of relationship coaching is tapping into the past lives of my clients. Most couples who come into my practice have known each other in previous life times. By understanding reincarnation, we can understand relationship dynamics.
Sounds weird, huh? Check out these videos I made with examples taken from coaching sessions.
Now, watch my shocking relationship readings for Hollywood celebrity, Ross Mathews.
Many relationship issues pick up where the last lifetime ended according to reincarnation. Learning key lessons missed from a last lifetime often resolves marital issues. Equally, small communication changes and integrating key concepts such as, “I don’t need to fight to feel safe,” improves intimacy immensely.
As shown above, seeing a troubled marriage from a new vantage point offers peace. As a result, clients often say they believe there is still time to heal the relationship, they can honor their partner’s inherent freedom. And, most importantly, know for certain that true love is never lost.
Fundamentally, understanding the spiritual factors that influence relationship dynamics is an essential part of repairing broken marriages.
Second: Build Emotional Intimacy
Couples struggle to cope with and accept the unhealthy choices and self-sabotaging behaviors their partners make. They subconsciously fear that if their partner can’t, won’t, and may never change, then they can’t be happy or stay together. This simply isn’t so.
To avoid divorce, emotional intimacy is key. The first place to start is to create a safe place where it’s healthy to be imperfect. When it’s OK to be imperfect and make mistakes, real emotional growth finally begins.
Photo by Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash
Third: Learn Problem Solving Strategies
Most couples don’t realize that when they’re arguing, they’re actually thinking out loud. In couple’s coaching sessions, my clients learn that they don’t have to argue to work through a problem. Arguing is simply a communication method and it doesn’t have to be a primary method of communication. As a result of coaching work, couples learn that they don’t have to have an answer for everything and they don’t have to fix every problem. Instead, healthy couples learn that challenging life situations can be solved in a proactive, enjoyable way.
Problem solving doesn’t have to be a complicated process. Problem solving skills can be learned within a day and the benefits last a life time. Imagine working through challenging life problems with a true team mate.
Fourth: Communicate with Non-Violence
Couples who head straight towards divorce communicate violently and they don’t even know it. It’s not until it’s too late that partners realize that they were bullies all along. In addition to successful problem solving strategies, non-violent communication is an essential skill for honest conversation.
Some examples of violent communication include automatic thoughts and reality distortions:
Making feelings facts (I feel you don’t love me)
Blaming (It’s all your fault)
Over generalization (You always screw up)
Personalizing (Your bad mood keeps me from relaxing)
Unfavorable Comparisons (You used to always help me)
With marriage coaching, happy couples learn how to use non-violent communication techniques to solve marriage problems faster.
In the video below, I outline 4 simple steps for non-violent communication.
Fifth: Heal Wounds & Meet Needs
Finally, as a result of taking the four previous steps, clients are able to heal old wounds and fulfill their deepest needs. They reason why healing wounds is so important is because ruminating on past hurts gives justification to anger and poor behavior. Many divorced couples never find it within their hearts to forgive their former spouse. And, as a result, they never truly move on. Additionally, this makes co-parenting extremely difficult.
Happy couples learn and use a variety of energy healing techniques to heal themselves and each other. The power to heal is in each and every one of us. Why not facilitate healing for fears, unhealthy habits, limiting thoughts, and dis-ease for each other? It’s possible!
Avoid Divorce And Create A Happy Marriage
The happiest couples face can’t avoid life’s greatest challenges. However, they stay together because they have the skills to gracefully overcome them. With training, intuitive guidance, problem solving and communication skills, unhappy marriages can transform into the happiest around.
Leslie, Inc. offers solutions for finding happiness through one-on-one coaching, mindful leadership retreats, and digital products. If you’re ready to GET HAPPY, check out Leslie’s guide packs. For more tips on achieving your state of happiness, sign up for Leslie, Inc’s weekly newsletter.