Healing After A Friend Commits Suicide
Last time, I told a story about a man’s fear of death in my Day 4, Part 2 journal of my experience at Outdoor Retailer. Now, I’m sharing a story of healing after a friend commits suicide.
During the same evening, my client Chip* introduced me to his colleague, Sam*. Sam and I first talked about his career journey to Outdoor Retailer. He said he was laid off from his last job right after the loss of his best friend to suicide.
Sam’s Best Friend Commits Suicide
With tears in his eyes, Sam confessed that he carried grief after the loss. I moved him to a quiet sitting area to help him process his emotions away from the crowded hotel lobby.
Facing the window, looking out at the Denver Convention center, I felt the presence of his friend step to my side. I explained to him what I sense to give Sam a higher perspective of his life situation.
Beginning, I said, “I feel fuzzy in my head. I feel like your friend used drugs to cope with his emotions.”
Continuing, “I sense the drugs affected his mental ability and influenced his decision to take his own life. I feel like his death is connected to his head.”
Sam explained, “When we were kids, our soccer coach molested my friend. He mentioned it from time to time, but he didn’t get help for it. And, as he got older, he had back problems and took medication for it. Then his drug use evolved.”
I nodded as I listened. Sam continued,
Then, he became unstable. And after a drunken night, he went to see his girlfriend and asked her to marry him. But, she said ‘No.’ So, he called her and shot himself in the head while she listened.
What To Know When A Friend Commits Suicide
Sam’s best friend gave me a few important messages to share and help him heal.
I explained, he makes me feel like when he shot himself, all he heard was a loud bang. He doesn’t make me feel like there was pain. In fact, he says he heard a loud bang and then everything went dark for a moment. But then, when he opened his eyes, Jesus was there to accept him along with His angels.
And, he tells me that you take great responsibility for his death. But, there was nothing you could do. For, you see that he was not in a mental state of accept help. He knows that you love him. Furthermore, you losing your job is directly connected to the emotional loss of your best friend. And, you even lost in salary. Now, you can heal from this loss and move forward in your career. Going forward, you can earn more money, too.
Watching Sam, I saw him unburden himself of guilt and grief.
I continued, “Your friend shows me a photo of you and him as children. Do you keep something like that out?”
He thought about it for a moment. Then, Sam pulled out his phone from his pocket and opened his Facebook page. On his Facebook profile header, stood a he and his best friend as children, standing on the beach, arm in arm.
Life After A Friend Commits Suicide
Sam thanked me with all his heart. He wrapped his arms around me and held me in appreciation.
He said, “I feel like I’ve unloaded a giant weight off of my chest and shoulders. I have never spoken to a medium before. But, I knew you could help me when I heard Chip’s story.”
I confessed, “I knew I was going to help you from the moment Chip introduced you to me. I am glad to help.”
Sam’s story is just one of many in which I helped a grieving person who lost a loved one to suicide. Here are a few takeaways I have learned sharing messages of hope to loved ones left behind.
Lessons Learned After A Friend Commits Suicide
- Suicide is another door to learning about our life problems, but it is NOT a solution to life problems.
- Doing drugs and alcohol will NOT help us feel better. They add another problem to deal with.
- Our loved ones on the other side know how much we love them, even if they didn’t reach out before passing.
- There is no shame in surviving abuse.
- It’s OK to feel sad emotions.
- Suicide happens when we feel lost and out of power.
- There is ALWAYS another choice besides suicide.
- It doesn’t hurt to die.
- Good people commit suicide.
- There is always someone waiting to receive us on the other side.
- We must take responsibility of our emotions and GET HELP right away.
- If someone doesn’t take your cries for help seriously, find someone else who will honor your feelings.
There Is Hope Through Depression
I remember when I experienced postpartum depression the moment in which I realized why people commit suicide. What got me through was reading articles like this reminding me that there is hope and the opportunity to totally change my life. If you don’t have close friends or loved ones who can take care of you, you can reach out to others who can help. You can and will survive depression and anxiety.
If you, or someone you love is experiencing suicidal thoughts, reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Call 1-800-237-8255 24/7. We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.