family anxiety holiday conflict setting table

How To Deal With Anxiety During The Holidays

Do you struggle and want to deal with anxiety during the holidays that is caused by family drama? Do you feel knots in your stomach when you get closer to home?

Fortunately, there is a better way to deal with anxiety during the holidays. Christmas should feel like Christmas; not an agonizing reminder of unfinished personal business.

Anxious Over Family Drama During The Holidays?

Hundreds of clients have come to me looking for ways to deal with anxiety during the holidays without losing their mind. Clients have felt pressured to suffer through unstable family dynamics in order to not be alone during the holidays. The good news is that you don’t have to give up who you are just to be accepted for a few weeks a year. Here are some real life success stories take from coaching sessions with me:

deal with anxiety during the holidays

Real Case Studies of Holiday Anxiety

Avoiding Mom For The Holidays

I had a client who expressly avoided her mother. She only saw her mother during the holidays and family occasions. The idea of driving to her home town filled her with dread.

Within the first session, we discovered that the travel anxiety harbored anger towards her mother. When she was a kid, her mother was so depressed after dad abandoned the family that she sat on the couch for days. My client told the story that she and her siblings often went hungry. And, if it wasn’t for her grandmother stepping in to cook and care for the family, they would have starved and went homeless.

Once grandmother died, everything fell apart. I helped my client realize that the loss of grandma triggered crippling anxiety and depression. And, the anger she felt was a by-product of the blame she felt towards her mother for not moving on after dad left.

With some energy therapy techniques and expert life coaching, I helped my client forgive mom for “falling apart”. She realized, too, that just like her mom, she was “falling apart” after grandma’s death.

She said, “My mom just gave up and I don’t have to. I refuse to let anxiety control me!” Our anxiety relief work successfully brought clarity to the stigma of poverty, healed the grief of losing grandma, and released the resentment towards mom.

Co-Parenting Divorce Drama

Divorce complicates the holidays, especially when both parties have not yet resolved the conflict that caused the divorce. You just want the fighting to end, so you separate. But then, you realize that the inner turmoil doesn’t stop when your partner walks out the door.

My divorced clients just want the drama to end, but don’t know how when co-parenting kids are in the middle for the holidays. They realized that their ex may be out of the picture, but their influence during the holidays doesn’t stop. So, how to confidently deal with exes during the holidays?

One client wanted her ex to be involved with her children for the holidays. The other partner wanted to avoid organizing with her for fear that she would not stick to the agreed upon plans. They were anxious about having to make decisions together, especially when they couldn’t during their marriage.

In session, I helped my clients come to the agreements without arguing. Together, we got to the point that the most important priority was time with the kids. Not holiday traditions or “making up for lost time”.  Focusing on what matters instead of getting hung up on “holiday traditions” is the healthiest choice for this divorced family. Couples coaching for divorced couples took the anxiety out of holiday planning.

Banishing Bigotry

Every family has that bigoted person who everyone calls “old school”. Like Archie Bunker, they say racist things and you grin and bear it “because they’re your elder”. It’s frustrating and my clients have felt like they have to enable mean people for the “sake of family.”

So, how to deal with anxiety during the holidays when bigoted family members begin to act unruly? One client has a parent that is follower of political news. And, during meals and family gatherings, they would create havoc with angry rants about the other political side. My client felt obliged to sit through their parent’s ramblings because “it’s the right thing to do”. Of course, it only got worse.

Seniority isn’t an excuse for poor behavior! My client had to learn that they couldn’t change their loved one’s political leanings, but they could change how they respond. With confidence coaching, my client learned how to stand up for himself. And, he learned that while he couldn’t control his parent’s outbursts, he could control where he went during.

Confidently Deal With Anxiety During The Holidays

You don’t have to deal with anxiety during the holidays alone. If fact, I have designed the perfect Guide Pack to help you finally feel confident around your family. The Star Gazer Guide Pack is the perfect solution to dealing with anxiety.

Clients have come to seek peace, confidence, and even relaxation around their families during the holidays and all year round with the Star Gazer Guide Pack. And, with great success, they’ve overcome the barriers that stand between them and their loved ones. Ex-wives and husbands can co-parent peacefully. Children can forgive parents. Parents finally stop worrying about their children. With added confidence and less stress, overwhelm, and anxiety, being a part of a family – no matter how dysfunctional the past may be – can be of great personal value.

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Leslie, Inc. offers solutions for finding happiness through one-on-one coaching, mindful leadership retreats, and digital products. If you’re ready to GET HAPPY, check out Leslie’s guide packs. For more tips on achieving your state of happiness, sign up for Leslie, Inc’s weekly newsletter.

Leslie Juvin-Acker

Leslie Juvin-Acker is Chief Happiness Officer of Leslie Inc. Since 2008, she has been coaching executives and business leaders all over the world. She is an expert in emotional intelligence and helps professionals tap into their own imagination to find solutions for personal and professional happiness.

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