3 Things Not To Say To Avoid A Fight With Your Spouse

Avoid a fight with your spouse like a marriage expert with these three techniques. 

Stop Marital Fighting Before It Begins

Conflict within the marriage is inevitable. Why make matters worse in your relationship when you can use simple phrases to  avoid conflict? Are you guilty of saying any of these phrases that are sure to start a fight with your spouse? Let’s find a way to love your spouse unconditionally.

3 Phrases Guaranteed To Start A Fight With Your Spouse

Number 1: What’s Wrong With You?

Asking What’s wrong with you? seems geared at looking at the problem, but it’s loaded with hostility. This question assumes that your spouse did something wrong. And, asking this question assumes that there is something fundamentally wrong with them.

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Avoid A Fight. How to turn it around:

Ask, What’s happening?

Instead of internalizing the responsibility, ask your partner to focus on the external events around them. Get them to describe the sequence of events that occurred. When you focus only on the facts, your partner will not feel attacked.

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Number 2: What Did You Do?

Asking What did you do? immediately assumes blame. While it’s important to help your partner to realize their responsibility in the situation, it’s more important to get them to focus on what they can do now.

Avoid A Fight. How to turn it around:

Ask, What choices can you make now?

Inviting your partner to explore what possibilities lie before them is more helpful than rehashing their regrets. When you focus on choices, you’re focusing on their personal power.

avoid a fight

Number 3: You Need Help!

There is no other sure fire way to explode your marriage than to tell your partner that they need help. It implies you think they are crazy and, like number one, says that there is fundamentally wrong with them.

Avoid A Fight. How to turn it around:

Ask, Let’s see what resources are available to us that we may not be aware of right now…

If you or your partner do indeed need professional help in some areas (like accounting, coaching, weight loss, career help, etc), focus on looking for resources. They might not be aware of the resources that are presently available to them, so be sure to complete the sentence with “we may not be aware of right now.” Avoid a fight by focusing on solutions to correct behaviors as it’s more helpful than focusing on personal flaws.

Getting Marriage Help Can Be Fast & Easy

Getting practical skills and essential intuitive perspective can help save your marriage. With marriage coaching, you and your partner can change the course of your lives in as little as one day. Why wait until the pain and heartbreak becomes unbearable? Turn a challenges into an amazing love story with these simple tips.

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Leslie, Inc. offers solutions for finding happiness through one-on-one coaching, mindful leadership retreats, and digital products. If you’re ready to GET HAPPY, check out Leslie’s guide packs. For more tips on achieving your state of happiness, sign up for Leslie, Inc’s weekly newsletter.

 

Leslie Juvin-Acker

Leslie Juvin-Acker is Chief Happiness Officer of Leslie Inc. Since 2008, she has been coaching executives and business leaders all over the world. She is an expert in emotional intelligence and helps professionals tap into their own imagination to find solutions for personal and professional happiness.

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